


The shortest distance between two points

by cobaltsiren



Category: Skins (UK)
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, M/M, love quadrangle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-20
Updated: 2012-09-19
Packaged: 2017-11-14 15:49:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/516999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cobaltsiren/pseuds/cobaltsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-S3 AU. Summer is over, but things are anything but ‘back to normal’ for the gang. Thomas and Panda, Naomi and Emily are happy in couples-land, but tensions are still high between Freddie and Cook and things can only get worse when Effy comes back from Italy. Katie, still in a funk from the events in the woods and at the Love Ball, isn't exactly thrilled to see Effy either. Will the group fracture entirely or will they learn to fix each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Summer was over like a flash. Of course, a few short weeks were not enough to heal the rifts between them.   
  
 **Part I: Effy**  
  


_We had pennies in our pocket/we had hope in our eyes/He said ‘girl you’ve got a million different faces/so why’d you put on that disguise?’_

  
For the first day back to school, Katie had the absolute perfect outfit picked out: a denim pencil skirt, a zebra-print vest with a red jacket and stiletto heels. She had just finished her shower and was starting to get dressed when Emily came into their room through the window.  
  
“Ugh, do you ever plan to sleep again?” Katie sniffed as Emily flopped onto her bed. “You might want to take a shower, you smell like sex. And you’ll have to hurry if you don’t want to be late for college.”  
  
“Thanks for the advice, but don’t wait for me. I can handle myself, Miss Model Student,” Emily smirked.  
  
Sometime over the summer, Emily’s hair had gotten brighter, become an aggressive, challenging shade of red. Katie had dyed hers darker, as if they needed one more thing to mark the differences between them these days. She heaved in a frustrated breath as she tugged on her top.  
  
“God, if you have to be a muff-muncher, could you at least not look so self-satisfied after you’ve gotten some?”  
  
“Nothing’s stopping you from ‘getting some’, Naoms and I have tried to invite you out…” Emily started.  
  
“Oh fuck you, like I want pity from you and that fashion retard.” Katie snapped.   
  
Her hand instinctively brushed her hair back from her temple. Concern flashed briefly through Emily’s eyes before she tossed the jacket at her sister.  
  
“Go on, you’ll be late for your grand entrance.”  
  
Katie rolled her eyes as she left, heels clicking on the stairs.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Cook whistled around his fag as Katie walked up the stairs to the front door.  
  
“Welcome back Katiekins, looking well lush.”  
  
“Spare me the flattery Cook, I heard all about you and Freddie and that man-whore competition, and the resulting infection. I’m staying as far away from you and your cock as possible.”  
  
Cook grinned and hopped down from the stair rail, crushing out his cigarette. “Why so harsh? I’ve got a clean bill of health now haven’t I?” he asked as he inched closer to her.  
  
“Thank God for modern medicine. Now if you’ll excuse me.” She brushed past him in through the front doors.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Freddie sat in the back row of the gym, the end of his joint burning down to his fingers. He stubbed it out quickly as he began to feel the heat of it, then sat back with a sigh, scratching absently at his crotch. If only Effy hadn’t left, he thought, after she had said she loved him, then he wouldn’t have been left adrift and felt the need to compete with Cook in his mission to fuck everything that moved. So many things ‘might have been’ if Effy hadn’t decided to take a two-month-long bath…  
  
As he was lost in his reverie, the other students began to file in for the opening assembly. Cook and JJ came and sat in the row below him, forming an uneven triangle.   
  
“Freds, mate, you got that spliff?” Cook winked up at him.  
  
“Nah, smoked it already. Anyway, all the teachers are about to get here, I think you can manage to hold off on that shit at least until assembly’s over.”  
  
“I could, but where’s the fun in that?”  
  
“Cook,” JJ cut in, “I’ve attempted to calculate your rate of short-term memory loss, and if you continue to smoke so much your exam results will drop another 10 points this term.”  
  
Freddie tuned out as JJ continued his rant about the brain’s ability to retain information and Cook laughed off his warnings. Naomi and Emily had wandered in holding hands and sat down, seemingly oblivious to any snide remarks or whistles at the sight of open lesbianism. Thomas and Panda sat a few rows below them, Panda giggling about something and Thomas smiling at her indulgently. The faculty entered from the far doors, and just as they were about to call order Katie walked in, her hips swaying in possibly the tightest skirt Freddie had ever seen. She sat gracefully on the lowest tier of benches (as if she could climb in that outfit), and the assembly began.   
  
Katie uncrossed and crossed her legs as the new first-years were divided into forms. Freddie had an amazing view of her cleavage, and it was all he could do not to think about what was under that skirt, what it felt like to have her warmth wrapped around him. It was something he wouldn’t know anything about if Effy hadn’t kept going back to Cook…  
  
He knew he couldn’t expect Effy to be there, to come stalking in wearing a torn black shirt as a dress and sit next to him as if nothing had happened. He also couldn’t be bothered to lie to himself, tell himself that he hadn’t hoped that she would do exactly that. Effy was nowhere to be found though; that feeble hope was just a dull ache he had nursed in his chest all summer.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Effy helped her mother pull their luggage into the house with a cigarette dangling precariously from her lips. Smoking without using her hands was one of the many idle things she had practiced as her mother dragged her around Italy. They almost hadn’t made the flight back because Anthea felt the need to have one last look at some monument with a man she had met. Not that Effy was particularly worried about returning to her education, but she had had quite enough quality time with her mother for a few months, especially if ‘quality time’ inferred trying to get her to actually give a shit about something besides dark-haired European men.  
  
The phone rang as she dumped a suitcase at the foot of the stairs. She picked up and was assaulted by an effusive greeting from Panda before she could even speak.  
  
“Eff! You're back! You missed assembly today, it was really boring but Thommo told me he was hosting another party at the club tonight and I wondered if you’d be able to make it and Naomi and Emily already said they’d come, they said it all in unison like they’ve got just one brain now that they’re surfing and well, surfing I guess so do you think…”  
  
“Hi Panda,” Effy cut in.  
  
“Hi Effy. I missed you, you know.”  
  
“Missed you too.”  
  
“So can you come??”   
  
“Why not?”  
  
*-*-*  
  
Panda was bouncing on her doorstep by nine o’clock. Effy had armed herself for the evening, combat boots and a leather jacket over her short, shredded gray dress, dark eyeliner and about twenty black bracelets. She lit a fag as she grabbed her purse and let the impassive air of mystery wrap around her. She couldn’t help but smile just a little though, as Panda babbled incessantly about ‘Thommo’ through their entire walk. Effy chain-smoked and rolled her eyes just to make sure she didn’t betray the secret that she was actually in a fairly good mood. The only thing worrying her was that Freddie and Cook might both be at the party.  
  
The problem was expectations. Panda’s affection was apparently invariable, but Cook and Freddie saw things in her. They wanted her to be an angel, a whore, a mystery, all wrapped in leather and lace. Freddie had really wanted to know her though, she had felt like it meant something. Then suddenly it had meant far too much. She had been grateful almost to the point of showing it when her mother dragged her away from the whole mess on the boat to go on ‘family holiday.’ That had dissipated rather quickly though, when she realised ‘family’ didn’t include her father or Tony, nor that her mother was going to actually pay attention to the world outside her head. Expectations always came back to bite you in the arse.  
  
“We’re here! Hi Thommo!!” Panda cut through her thoughts.  
  
“Hello Panda, so nice to see you again Effy. How was your trip?” Thomas asked.  
  
“Great. I ate pasta. A lot.” Effy rolled her eyes as Panda snuggled into Thomas, pulling him into a sloppy snog.  
  
“Super!” he managed to interject, “The party is free for you, of course. Please have fun, some friends are already inside.”  
  
Effy smoked her last cigarette down to the filter, calmly looking in every direction except Panda and Thomas’s tangled tongues. She crushed her empty pack and threw it in the bin as she walked inside alone, since Panda seemed no longer interested in breathing. It would probably be easier if she wasn’t there when Effy saw Freddie again anyway. She was fairly sure he would be waiting for her, and as soon as she had had a drink or three, she would let him find her.  
  
*-*-*  
  
He saw her across the room, and not staring was impossible. She shouldn’t be able to look more fragile than that night they had driven away from Bristol toward… wherever, but she did. She was standing at the bar getting a drink and everything he had ever felt when he looked at her welled back up inside him. Apparently shagging half the female population of Bristol wasn’t enough to forget her, and the worst part was that it wasn’t even about the fucking anymore. It was this hot, jealous thing inside him that just wanted to be with her, just Effy, and never share her, which went against everything Cook had ever stood for. He forced himself to walk out of her line of sight before she noticed him, and before Freddie got back from the loo. Just when they were starting to really be mates again, he could already feel everything falling to bits before she even said a word.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Freddie stared at himself in the mirror over the sinks. His eyes were a little blood-shot (typical) and puffy. His hair, well, he could never do anything with it, it just fell in his face. He didn’t normally think much about the way he looked, but he had overheard Thomas talking to someone on the phone, mentioning ‘back’ and ‘Italy’ and ‘coming tonight’. It had to be Effy, it just had to be. He didn’t know why he was worried about his hair, the last time he and Effy had had sex she hadn’t showered in at least a week, and he wasn’t in much better shape. She didn’t seem to be one for caring much about appearances. He splashed some water on his face and took a deep breath. He rationalised to himself as he pushed through the washroom door, it wasn’t like he had done anything wrong, she had just…left. It was her job to explain why, right? Right.  
  
His breath hitched as he caught sight of her, swigging from an alcopop as she wandered across the dance floor. He approached her slowly, as if she could startle and bolt like a gazelle, but when she saw him she actually smiled. It was like the dim, dingy club lit up with all the dazzle of a sunny day.   
  
“Hey,” he said with an awkward smile.  
  
“Hi Freddie. How was your summer?”  
  
“Oh, you know, it was…whatever. Hung with Cook and J, skated…”  
  
“Sounds wicked.” Her smile turned up into a little smirk and he wondered if she was laughing at him, or worse, if she’d heard about his little…problem.  
  
“How about you, did you have a nice bath?”  
  
“Yeah, lots of baths. In various bits of Europe.”  
  
“You could have, y’know, called or something.”  
  
“Why, did you miss me, or ‘something’?”  
  
He had to stifle a sigh, wondering how she could keep joking about this, like there was nothing special between them.   
  
As his eyes fell, she said “Freddie, I… I get it okay? I just needed some space, but… I missed you too. I want to give this a shot.”  
  
“Yeah? I mean, yeah. Sure.”   
  
She just kept doing it, flipping his world upside down with a couple words and half a smile.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Effy took the drink Freddie brought her with a smile. She threw her free arm over his shoulder and started swaying to the pulsing rhythm of the music. Freddie was a pretty shit dancer, but it didn’t really matter. They just swayed and she finally relaxed into being there with him… until she saw Cook. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, slouching and elbowing his way towards the exits. Her mouth tightened instinctively, but she quickly looked away over Freddie’s other shoulder.   
  
She could only keep so many people happy, and she had decided that this time one of them would be herself.  
  
*-*-*  
  
It was like something out of one of his fantasies. They were happily drunk at a club and Effy was just dancing with him. It was too good to be true, for sure. Freddie kept feeling like he was forgetting something.  
  
‘Shit,’ he almost swore aloud.  
  
He had come here with Cook.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part II: Cook**   
  


_I’m gonna get free/I’m gonna get free/I’m gonna get free, ride into the sun/She never loved me/she never loved me/she never loved me, why should anyone?  
_

  
It was raining outside of course. Fucking appropriate, that. Cook shivered inside his worn polo as he struggled to keep a fag lit. He finally threw the thing to the ground in frustration, slumping against the brick wall of the alley.   
  
It had been easy to ignore that Effy had picked Freddie over him when she had disappeared. Neither of them had ended up with the girl, no harm, no foul. But now she was back, and of course Freddie was all over her, fucking rubbing it in Cook’s face. He wanted to hate Freddie, but he couldn’t. All he could do was sit there and torture himself, watching everything he wanted snatched away again…or he could get the fuck out.  
  
He turned to go, but as he passed near the entrance he heard Thomas yelling something about more friends from the doorway, and he saw his favourite lesbians and Katie heading into the party. His brow furrowed at the thought of Katie seeing Effy for the first time since she left her bleeding in the woods. Maybe it would be worth sticking around for.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Katie hadn’t even wanted to come to the stupid fucking party.  
Emily had been badgering her for weeks about getting out of the house, so she saw this as the perfect opportunity.  
  
“For one, Thomas is throwing the party, so we get in free and probably get some free drinks. For another thing, it’s the first party of the term so everyone cool is going to be there. Fuck’s sake Katie, I’ll let you borrow that top you wanted, just please stop watching repeats of Desperate Housewives with mum for one fucking night.”  
  
“Fine, I’ll fucking go, but you’d better lend Naomi some decent clothes too. I really can’t be seen with you two if she can’t manage to bring her wardrobe out of the seventies dustbin.”  
  
“We’ll all look the pinnacle of fashion, Kay, promise,” Emily said, with an epic eye-roll.  
  
Katie should have known something was wrong when Panda actually stopped talking when they walked up to the door. But Thomas had smiled and waved them in and she went and got a few shots in her before she started scanning the dance floor for fit boys. Her sister and Naomi were already feeling each other up in a corner so she had to find some way to entertain herself. If she was lucky she could get some free drinks and a few compliments yelled over the pounding music.  
  
She was wandering through the party when she heard someone say her name in a shocked tone of voice. Freddie was standing behind her…with Effy.  
  
*-*-*  
  
“Well, well, look who decided to show her face in Bristol again.”  
  
Effy flinched a bit at the malice in Katie’s voice. It seemed like all her mistakes were coming back to haunt her tonight, but she managed to match Katie’s fake half-smile before she replied.  
  
“Nice to see you again too Katie.”  
  
“You’ve got a strange definition of nice. Mind if I check your bag for rocks before we continue this conversation?”  
  
Effy turned her tiny clutch upside-down, dropping her lipgloss, a couple quid, and a bag of pills to the floor.  
  
“Satisfied?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.  
  
Katie’s voice cracked as she quickly replied, “Not until you give me my fucking life back.”  
  
Effy dropped her eyes, and bent to pick up her things. She sighed as she rose, and grabbed Freddie’s hand.  
  
“I can’t give back something I didn’t steal. I… let’s go Freddie.”  
  
She turned away from Katie’s eyes, but they kept boring holes in her back until she and Freddie were a few streets away, his arm wrapped tight around her shuddering shoulders.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Cook pushed away from the wall where he had been leaning as he watched Effy and Freddie leave. It was less of a confrontation than he had expected, like something was different than last year. He wasn’t sure who had changed, Effy or Katie. Maybe they all had. Even he found he couldn’t just leave Katie like that, alone back at the bar. He ambled towards her, but she didn’t seem to notice his approach.  
  
“Hey Katie, shame you didn’t get into one o’them sexy catfights.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.  
  
“Still not fucking you,” Katie said, not looking up for her drink.  
  
“Harsh, girl. Why not?”  
  
“Um, because I know where you’ve been?”  
  
“I could say the same, but I promise I won’t hold Freddie against you if you let me get a look at your tits,” Cook said with a grin.  
  
Katie laughed sharply, “Good one.”  
  
“So, is it a goer then?”  
  
“No, but keep trying. Sadly, it’s been the most fun I’ve had all week.” Katie got up from the bar and pounded back the rest of her drink. “Tell Emily I’m going home, will you?”  
  
“Isn’t that what your bloody mobile’s for?” Cook said, and then quickly dodged a smack aimed at his shoulder. “Jesus, calm down Katiekins. I was going to offer to walk you home.”  
  
The shock in her eyes was totally worth it. Cook offered her an arm as they made their way out of the sweaty club. She took it, avoiding his eyes and complaining about her heels killing her feet. They walked in silence to Katie’s door.  
  
She turned to him and cleared her throat, brushing her hand lightly down his arm. “You know, you’re not so bad. You might want to shower before your next pathetic attempt at putting the moves on me though.”  
  
She looked so cute, dropping her eyes and almost smiling, that she was inside before he could think of a clever response.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Katie stood for a moment, her back to the door. She couldn’t believe she had actually almost fallen for that ‘I don’t give a fuck’ smarm, that she had actually been tempted to kiss Cook. There was something desperately wrong with her.  
  
It had to be Effy’s fault. Ever since she had introduced herself on the first day of college Effy had been mocking her with that mysterious smile. Every second she spent around Effy eroded her confidence, made her feel fat and bitchy and stupid. Effy had taken everything from her, but worst of all her pride, and she wouldn’t even give Katie the satisfaction of a fair fight over it. Katie slid to the floor, trying to rub her eyes before tears welled up.   
  
*-*-*  
  
The docks were freezing, the sky still spitting rain. Cook couldn’t seem to think unless he was walking and smoking though, so he kept going. Katie had almost smiled at him, and she told him to keep flirting with her. He thought that could only mean one of two things: either she was really fucking desperate or his charm was finally starting to work its magic on her. Maybe if he got with Katiekins, Freddie would finally know what it felt like to have someone take what used to be his. The only problem was that would be a shitty way of using Katie, and if there was one thing he knew right then, it was that she might be the only one who understood. She knew exactly what it was like to stepped on by ‘true love’.  
  
Cook stripped off his soaked shirt as soon as he got back to his room. He threw himself down on the bed and pulled the covers up, trying to get warm again, or at least somewhere close. He regretted a lot of things about what had happened with Effy now, but most of all he wished he knew what it felt like to spend the entire night in a bed with her. To not run off in the middle of the night, to actually hold her instead of shag in a club and let her walk home alone.  
  
He pulled out his mobile, going through old pictures he had taken when they were running from club to club in the shitty little towns between Bristol and his dad, catching their scant hours of sleep in garbage heaps. She was sweaty, her eyes were glazed and unfocused, but he had always thought she looked happy then. But he had never really been able to figure out what was going on in her head. The whole time she had been trying to get Freddie to come rescue her... from him.  
  
He was just a piece of shit, really. He had tried far too late to let her know he actually gave a fuck, and now she was gone.   
  
*-*-*  
  
Cook didn’t spend much time in classes that week. It seemed like everywhere he went, he saw them together: holding hands, kissing, staring at each other. When he couldn’t stand it anymore he just cut outside and smoked until he could almost feel his lungs blackening.  
  
“….Cook. Cook. COOK!”  
  
He turned to find Naomi leaning against the wall next to him, waving a hand in his face. She snatched the cigarette from his hand.  
  
“That’s the fifth fag I’ve watched you smoke in the last fifteen minutes,” she commented, taking a drag.   
  
“That’s why they call it addiction, babe.”  
  
“God, don’t call me babe,” She shook her head and smiled. “I’m starting to get really fucking worried about you, you know? You’ve got to get over this Effy shit.”  
  
“Tried that. It’s not going well for me, Naoms. I mean, could you just get over Emilio if she decided she liked some other bird better?”  
  
“Well…”  
  
“And what if that bird was your best mate?” he cut in. “Nah, it’s not so easy as just ‘get over it.’”  
  
He stole the fag back from her as she stared at him.  
  
“You really love her, don’t you?”  
  
“I dunno if I know what the fuck love means, I just know I’ve never felt like this before. Like someone stomps on my fuckin’ heart every time I see them together.”  
  
Naomi didn’t say anything else, just threw an arm over his shoulder and leaned her head against him as they finished sharing his cigarette.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Effy put her psychology books away and slammed her locker shut. She was about to go meet Freddie in the lounge when she noticed Cook staring at her through the doorway at the other end of the hall. It wasn’t the first or the fifth time it had happened that week. She turned away slowly, glancing at him from the corner of her eye. It had been building since that night in the woods, the feeling that she was slowly killing him. It wasn’t what she had expected when they had been casually fucking and he didn’t seem to care about anyone in particular except Freddie and JJ. She didn’t enjoy causing those injured stares, but she wasn’t sure what she could do to fix it apart from what she had already done. She wasn’t fucking them around anymore, but it still wasn’t enough. She looked back at him and waved tentatively, then hurried away to the safety of Freddie’s unquestioning arms.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Freddie hadn’t spoken to Cook in a week or more. They had been avoiding each other out of some sort of mutual cowardice, and Freddie knew he couldn’t be the first one to break the silence. He had already asked Cook to just be okay with him and Effy being together, and if Cook couldn’t do that then what the fuck could he say? “Sorry about that whole ‘best-mates-for-life’ thing, but well, I’m sort of shagging the girl of my dreams now, so you’ll just have to get over her”? He felt like such a prick, but he couldn’t help being happy for himself. Time was supposed to heal all wounds right? Cook always calmed down eventually, he just had to wait it out.  
  
Of course the first time Cook actually sought Freddie out it was because Cook had come to college drunk. He weaved his way to Freddie’s locker, leaning next to it and letting his head fall back against the wall.   
  
“Jesus, Cook, you fucking reek of vodka.”  
  
“Thanks for the fucking update, mate. So where’s our little princess? Not attached to your hip for once?” Cook asked, his eyes closed against the fluorescent glare of the hallway.  
  
“Cook, I…she’s around here somewhere. Look, I don’t want to fight about this, okay? Can’t you just be cool with us?”  
  
“Nah, sorry mate. I’m not fucking leaving.” He rolled his head to stare at Freddie with a disturbingly lucid gaze. “See, it’s just me and a bottle of booze lately. Cookie’s got no one, so I’m just not going away. I’m not gonna fucking give up on her an’ lie down like a fucking dog.”  
  
“It’s not like that Cook, I…”  
  
Cooks eyes focused on something over Freddie’s shoulder, and he broke into a manic grin.  
  
“Peachy!” He pushed past Freddie as Effy approached. “Long time no talk, how’ve you been, babe?”  
  
Cook twirled one of her curls around his finger, using his other hand to steady himself against the lockers. Effy furrowed her brow and backed away from him.  
  
“Hi Cook…” she said staring pointedly at Freddie.  
  
Sighing Freddie grabbed Cook’s arm, “Look mate, just back off okay?”  
  
“What’s the fuckin’ problem? We’re just talking, right Eff? Old friends catching up?” Cook said, slapping Freddie’s hand down.  
  
“Cook, please don’t…” Effy started.  
  
“Don’t what? Don’t touch you, don’t look at you, don’t care? I thought you fuckin’ loved the attention.” Cook inched closer to her.  
  
The bells rang and students began to file into the hallways.   
  
“Fucking stop, Cook, this isn’t a fucking game,” Freddie snapped, placing himself between Effy and Cook.  
  
It was all going tits up, just as he had feared.  
  
“It’s all a fucking game, Freddie boy, you, me, her. You won one round, now it’s time for round two.”  
  
*-*-*  
  
Katie yawned as she left Politics. She had had to pick incessantly at her cuticles to try and keep from falling asleep. If Naomi could shut up about the Tories and the Lib Dems for one bloody minute and let the teacher lecture, maybe she would actually learn enough to keep from failing her fucking A-levels. As she made her way to her locker she ran into a wall of bodies.  
  
“The fuck is it this time, my sister lezzing it up in public again?” she muttered.  
  
She elbowed her way through the crowd, thanking Christ for stilettos. If there was one thing high heels were good for, it was getting idiots out of her way. Suddenly, she recognised Effy’s voice over the noise.  
  
“Freddie, just leave it!”  
  
Cook and Freddie were staring each other down in the centre of the human circle. She rolled her eyes and went towards her locker anyway just as the fight began in earnest.   
  
It happened in the blink of an eye. The boys circled each other and Cook shoved Freddie, then punched him in the jaw. Effy cried out, her hands flying up to her mouth. Katie spun round from her locker at the noise, just as Freddie flew back, stunned. He fell into Katie, knocking her head into the metal doors.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Cook started to laugh, until Freddie pulled himself up and he noticed Katie wasn’t moving. She had slumped to the floor, her eyes closed. As his laughter trailed off, Effy closed the gap between them in two quick steps and slapped him full force.  
  
The crowd dispersed as the teachers arrived, demanding to know what was going on. Katie blinked her eyes open, her hand instinctively reaching for the back of her head. Doug and Freddie were standing over her, and she let Doug help her up as they both worriedly asked if she was all right.  
  
“Ugh, I’m fine as long as someone gets me some bloody paracetamol,” she said, wincing.  
  
“Jesus, Katie, I’m so fucking sorry…” Freddie started.  
  
Katie pushed passed both of them with a grimace, “On second thought, I’ll get it myself. I know where the fucking nurse’s office is.”   
  
Freddie chased after her, still apologising, as she stalked away.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Effy watched Cook hold his cheek in shock as Katie and Freddie left. She closed her eyes and tried to remember a time when this whole situation with Cook and Freddie hadn’t been utterly fucked up. There had been one moment, on the boat when Cook sat in between her and Freddie as they sailed away, where she had felt at peace. Everything had gone to shit again, though, it always did.   
  
“I hope you’re finally fucking satisfied,” she said to Cook, low and dangerous, before leaving in the opposite direction.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Cook stumbled back to his room in a daze. He must have passed out, because the next thing he knew it was dark out. He felt around the bed for his half-empty vodka bottle, unscrewed the cap and dropped it to the floor somewhere, his hands shaking. He swore, but it didn’t matter, because the bottle was empty in a matter of minutes. He stared at it briefly before hurling it against the wall. He dropped his head in his hands, wondering mutely when he would ever stop trying to prove to himself what a massive fuck-up he was.   
  
He sighed and stood, digging a packet of fags from his pocket. He tried to light one, pacing. He managed one drag before he dropped the cigarette from senseless fingers, still sore from punching Freddie. It took him several seconds to realise one of the filthy, beer-soaked shirts strewn across his floor had caught on fire.  
  
“Shit. Shit! Fuck!” he swore, stomping at the smoldering polyester.   
  
He managed to get the flames only partially extinguished before he kicked the shirt into the trickle of vodka leaking from the broken remnants of the bottle. In seconds the flames were licking up the wall.  
  
Cook followed his first instinct. He grabbed a bag of his shit from the floor and ran, having just enough clarity of thought to remember to pull the fire alarm as he left the building.  
  
*-*-*  
  
“Hi mum,” Cook slurred into the phone, shocked she had picked up. “How are you? Lovely as ever I’m sure.”  
  
“No, you little shit, I’m not loaning you any money.”  
  
“I’m really fucking hurt, y’know, that you would think that’s the only reason I ring you…actually I was wondering if I could sleep on the couch for a few …"  
  
The line was dead before he could finish.  
  
*-*-*  
  
He climbed in JJ’s window, finding him working on a model plane in his pyjamas.   
  
“Gay J! Mind if I kip here for a night or two? The rooms are fuckin’ under renovations or something.”  
  
“I don’t think that would be wise, Cook. My mum is highly put out with you ever since she found out I went with you to the clinic because you had a venereal infection.”  
  
“J, why in fuck’s name would you tell your mum about that?”  
  
“I didn’t mean to, it just sort of…slipped!”  
  
Cook stared up at the ceiling for a moment before shoving the window open in frustration.  
  
“Fine, I see what a friend in need is worth round here,” he muttered, hopping to the ground.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Naomi opened her door the barest crack and stuck her head out, just as Cook was about to try pounding on the door again. Her hair was in a state and she didn’t exactly look pleased to see him, but Cook forged ahead.  
  
“Naomio! You said your mum was out of town, right? Do you think I could crash here for a couple days, I just…”  
  
“Cook, this isn’t the best time, okay?”  
  
“Why the fuck not, Naoms? I’m a desperate man here, I…” He paused, noticing her messy hair and lack of clothes for the first time. “Shit Naomi, now you have to let me in! Where’s our little Emily?” He grinned from ear to ear.  
  
“Cook, there’s no way in bloody hell I’m letting you watch. Now fuck off.”  
  
She slammed the door in his face.  
  
*-*-*  
  
It was a last resort, really. He snuck into Freddie’s garden well after 2am and passed out in the shed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part III: Freddie**   
  


_I wish I was a girl/so that you could believe me/and I could shake this static every time I try to sleep./I wish for all the world/that I could say ‘Hey Elizabeth/you know I’m doing all right these days’._

  
“Hi, this is Effy. I’m not talking right now, but leave a message and maybe…”  
  
Freddie flipped his mobile shut and fell back against his pillows. He stared at the ceiling, wondering why Effy hadn’t answered any of his calls in days. After he had made sure Katie was all right he had gone to back to the lockers, but Effy was nowhere to be found. She wasn’t in school, Anthea had claimed she wasn’t at home, and her phone kept going to voicemail. He thought maybe he should have stayed with her after the fight, but Katie had been hurt and it was mostly his fault. He sighed, staring at his mobile again. He scrolled to Effy’s name and sent her another text, begging her just to call back and talk, or something.  
  
He felt really fucking pathetic sometimes.  
  
Freddie thought about booting up his laptop and having a wank, or maybe just staring at the phone until Effy called him back. He wasn’t sure which would make him feel more like a loser. He flipped his phone back open, stared at his empty inbox for a moment, then scrolled through his contacts again. Cook, Dad, Effy…he forced himself to keep going to Emily, JJ, Karen… Katie. He had really cocked that up. And now he had not only cheated on her, he’d physically hurt her. He pressed call, trying not to think too hard about why he was calling his ex-girlfriend when his current one wouldn’t speak to him.  
  
“What do you want Freddie?” Katie answered abruptly after a couple of rings.  
  
“I…I just wanted to say sorry, y’know…”  
  
“You did that already, several times. I got the message,” she interrupted.  
  
“Not just for the other day, Katie, for…everything. I really treated you like shit last year, and I never intended to hurt you.”  
  
The phone was silent for a long time. Freddie cleared his throat and tried again.  
  
“I was wondering if you wanted to hang out, maybe get coffee or something?”  
  
There was a heavy sigh and Katie finally spoke, “Fine, pick me up at seven. And Freddie?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Try not to be catatonically high this time, okay? I don’t feel like sitting around talking to myself.”  
  
He winced, grateful she couldn’t see his embarrassment over the phone. “Sure, Katie.”  
  
He shut his mobile after she hung up, and closed his eyes tight. He was just trying to be nice to her after all she’d been through because of him. There couldn’t be anything wrong with that.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Freddie took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. He checked his watch again, it was seven exactly. Katie had always been pissed when he was late. He heard the click of heels in the hallway and then there was a hand cautiously turning the doorknob.  
  
“Hey Kay…” He paused as a bright shock of red hair flashed under his nose, “Oh, I mean hi Emily.”  
  
“Shut up.” Emily hissed over her shoulder as she hurried past him and down to the end of the street.  
  
Freddie heard the sputter of an engine and Naomi came around the corner on a motor-scooter. She waved to him as Emily grabbed the extra helmet and swung her leg over the bike behind Naomi. Giggling, Naomi revved the throttle and they sped away. Freddie smiled, and then turned around quickly as someone cleared their throat behind him.  
  
“Oh, hey Katie. Your sister seemed to be in quite a hurry, couldn’t even get a proper hello out of her.”  
  
“Yeah, nothing stands between her and muff-diving these days,” Katie said with an exaggerated eye-roll.  
  
She seemed to be suppressing a smile though, and Freddie felt a laugh coming on as she tried to look exasperated. As he began to chuckle, so did she. Soon they were both laughing, Katie almost doubled over. After a moment, she grabbed the door frame and caught her breath.  
  
“Come on, you promised coffee and you’re buying.”  
  
*-*-*  
  
Katie sat on a park bench, leaning on her crossed legs and letting the warmth from the coffee seep into her hands. Freddie stretched his legs in the grass next to her bench. He took a drink, then cursed as he burned his mouth. He set the coffee on the ground and sucked in some cold air to cool himself.  
  
“So,” he asked after a moment, “Naomi actually starting to grow on you?”  
  
“Ugh, she still has the fashion sense of a colour-blind baboon, but Emily is disgustingly happy these days so I guess I’ll put up with her, for now.”  
  
“What was with the sneaky exit?”  
  
“Mum still can’t believe she birthed a homo. She’s not exactly friendly when Naomi comes round, like it’s all her fault.”   
  
“Fuck. Star-crossed lovers and all that shit?”  
  
“Yeah, sure.”   
  
Katie stared off at the city stretched out from the foot of the hill below them. She still wasn’t sure why Freddie was suddenly interested in spending time with her. He hadn’t been able to manage that much when they were actually dating.  
  
“You all right?” he asked.  
  
“I guess. I mean, if you’re worried about my health, repeated head injuries apparently haven’t given me brain damage yet.”  
  
  
“Yeah…sorry…” Freddie winced.  
  
“You can stop apologising. It won’t change anything.”  
  
He sat up on his knees and leaned against the arm of the bench, forcing Katie to look his way.  
  
“I was hoping it would at least change your opinion of me. “  
  
She tried to reply lightly, “Yeah, well, you still owe me for being such a prick, but I guess the coffee is a start.”  
  
He was staring at her hard, as if seeing her for the first time. She broke away from his gaze, just as he leaned in to kiss her. She turned her head and his lips brushed against her cheek. She flinched away reflexively.   
  
“Don’t Freddie. I may not like Effy much, but you shouldn’t fuck things up with her too, you know.”  
  
Freddie fell back into the grass and put his head in his hands, cursing to himself.  
  
“Don’t worry,” he said, “I may have managed that already. She hasn’t answered my calls in days.”  
  
“What!?” Katie said, shooting up off of the bench.   
  
She narrowed her eyes as she fumed, “So you just decided since your girlfriend ditched you that I was sure to be available? God, you’re so pathetic, you can’t even stand to be alone for five minutes.”  
  
“Katie, no, it wasn’t…”  
  
“Just piss off, Freddie.”  
  
She stormed away from him, leaving her coffee cooling on the bench.   
  
*-*-*  
  
Freddie wandered around the park in a haze. He had fucked it all up again, monumentally fucked everything up. There was only one way to make it better: forgetting. He fished around in his pockets for his cigarette case, filled with neatly rolled spliffs. He lit up, walked, smoked, walked. He found himself at a lake filled with ducks, swimming about in pairs. He threw a stone from the shore, skipping it into the crowd of wings, sending the couples in different direction, feathers scattering in their wakes.  
  
Freddie walked again, eventually wandering home, finishing his second joint on the way. He went up to his room, past his dad’s shouts about missing dinner, past Karen mocking his hair, past the picture of his mum, re-framed at the top of the stairs. He collapsed on his bed and pulled out his mobile. He stared at his empty inbox until the tiny letters blurred and sleep claimed him.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Effy scrolled through the list of Freddie’s texts, deleting them one by one without replying. She usually had no reason to pay attention to anything Cook said, but now his words kept circling around her head. This was all just a game. A game she had started on the first day they all met.   
She was the only one who could stop it. She had to start fixing this now, because the one who kept getting hurt was the one who had never agreed to play.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Katie took off her heels on the doorstep before slowly twisting the doorknob and slipping inside. She crept up the stairs, avoiding the third one that creaked, and went into her room. She dropped the shoes onto a pile of clothes on the floor, followed it with her top and skirt. She sniffled as she pulled an old t-shirt on, and there was a rustle of sheets from Emily’s bed.  
  
“Katie? Where were you?” Emily sat up and whispered into the darkness.  
  
Katie sat heavily on the edge of her own bed, staring at her sister as her eyes adjusted to the gloom.  
  
“Sorry I didn’t phone home, but I wasn’t exactly expecting you to be sitting here worrying about me,” she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
“What was Freddie doing here earlier? Were you out this whole time with him?”  
  
“I don’t want to talk about it.”  
  
“Well I do, okay? I am worried about you. You’d rather watch the X-factor than go to a party lately, you’ve actually been studying, and now you’re hanging out with your ex-boyfriend who is currently dating the girl who put you in the hospital. You aren’t yourself.”  
  
“And you would know this how? It’s not like you’ve cared about much lately besides sneaking off to go pray at the altar of Naomi Campbell’s twat,” Katie spat out the name like a curse.  
  
“Jesus, Katie, don’t talk like that! I’m trying to help…”  
  
“You’re so fucking up yourself!” Katie interrupted, barely managing to keep her voice down in the otherwise silent house. “I’m sorry I’ve not been all sunshine and roses lately, but I dunno, maybe it has something to do with my boyfriend fucking the girl who hit me in the head with a rock and then being beaten up by my sister in front of the entire school. Oh, and then you abandoned me for the world’s most obnoxious cunt of a lesbian.”  
  
“Wow Katie, tell me how you really fucking feel,” Emily snapped, her voice tinged with hurt.  
  
“I think this little chat is over. I’m going to bed.”  
  
Katie lay down with her face to the wall. She could hear Emily sniffling a bit from the other side of the room, but her anger helped her block out any guilt. She rubbed at her eyes. They were dry and stinging, but she had no more tears left to cry.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Cook slunk into school late through the back doors, trying to lay low. He was fairly certain there was going to be trouble when the head found him, he just hoped he wasn’t expelled on the spot. He made it all the way to his first class before he heard Doug’s voice behind him.  
  
“James Cook! Harriet needs to see you in her office post-haste.”  
  
He wasn’t good at playing innocent but he sat down carefully in the office and gave Harriet a quick smile, then waited for her to speak.   
  
“James, there was a fire in the dorms a few nights ago that began in your room. And the room was a rubbish heap, it appeared to have been wrecked before the arson, as if someone had broken in. Were you at home that night? Did you see anyone strange in the halls?”  
  
Cook couldn’t believe his good fortune. They already suspected someone other than him, all he had to do to get away with it was go along with their story.  
  
“No miss, I was with, um, a lady friend all that night.”  
  
“Someone from college?”  
  
“Uh, yeah.”  
  
“Good, bring her here and we’ll hear her side of it.”  
  
*-*-*  
  
Katie wanted nothing more from the day than to not have to see Freddie’s stupid face. Thankfully, he seemed to have gathered enough of his senses about him to know to stay out of her way. She was hurrying to her next class when someone grabbed her arm and pulled her into a closet.  
  
“What the fuck?” she exclaimed into the darkness, knocking over a broom as she tried to get her bearings.  
  
“Shh, Katiekins, I need your help,” Cook whispered, grabbing her wrist again, more gently this time. “See, there was this fire in my room and I told them I was out that night…”  
  
“Fuck’s sake, what did you do?” Katie interjected.  
  
“Nothing! Nothing, it was an accident, but they’ll put me out on me arse if they think it’s my fault. Can you give me an alibi, Katie? Please?”  
  
Katie sighed. The last thing she wanted was trouble at school to top everything off, but Cook sounded so pathetically desperate.  
  
“I’m beggin’ you Kate, help a lad out here.”  
  
“Fine, let’s get this over with.” Katie huffed.  
  
She had to shove Cook off as he attempted to hug her in glee.  
  
*-*-*  
  
“So, Katherine, James was with you the night of the fire?”  
  
“Yes. We were out, dancing and stuff. He walked me home and, well...you know.”  
  
Katie smiled slightly, and lowered her eyelashes, doing her best to look embarrassed (not that it was difficult under the circumstances). Harriet sniffed slightly, as if trying not to express her distaste.  
  
“Well then, I suppose will have to assume some local hooligans were responsible. James, I’m afraid the rooms will be under repair for some time. You do have somewhere else to stay, correct?”  
  
“Yeah, sure, staying with my mum right now.”  
  
“Good. Well, back to class with you both.”   
  
They stood and walked out of the office as quickly as possible. As soon as they were out of earshot, Cook broke into a manic grin.  
  
“Oh ho, Katie, that was tip-top. She ate you up hook, line, and bloody sinker!”  
  
“Well, duh. You totally owe me though for having to imply to school officials that I went anywhere near your unwashed little prick.”  
  
“Oi, little?? I take offence at that!”  
  
“But not at ‘unwashed’ I see. Brilliant.”  
  
“Hey, there’s only one shower for the whole floor, all right? Communal living ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, especially when the dorms aren’t co-ed,” Cook said with an aggrieved sigh.  
  
“I’m sure you make do,” Katie said with a smirk, but then bit her lip. “Cook, you weren’t lying about having someplace to stay though, were you?”  
  
“Nah, it’s cool. Don’t worry your pretty little head about me, Katiekins.”  
  
“Hmph, don’t worry, I won’t.”  
  
Katie rolled her eyes and walked away with a swish of her hips.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Freddie chewed thoughtfully on his chips as he finished up his politics coursework. JJ was long finished with his and was going over flashcards filled with random trivia to prepare for uni interviews.  
  
“Do you think I should use both hands when I shake hands with the interviewers? Is that a more confident greeting or does it just seem desperate?” JJ asked, flipping through his cards.   
  
“I would say stick with just one, but use a firm grip. You don’t want to seem like a nervous pussy.” Freddie replied, not looking up from his chips and book.  
  
“Huh, that’s what Cook said too.”  
  
“You’ve seen Cook lately?” Freddie asked, with some increase in interest.  
  
“Uh, no, no of course not. H-he told me that a long time ago,” JJ stuttered.  
  
“JJ…”  
  
“Fine, ok, I might have seen him.”  
  
“Where?”  
  
“At my house…andtheshed,” JJ finished hurriedly, squeezing his eyes shut as if he knew that last part wasn’t supposed to come out.  
  
“Jesus, the fire…he’s sleeping in the shed, isn’t he?”  
  
“No. No, he told me to say he was staying with his mum...oh bugger.”  
  
Freddie stood with a sigh, tossing his books in his bag. He walked out the door, his eyes involuntarily turning toward the ceiling.  
  
“See you J. I’ve got to go take care of the homelessness problem of Great Britain.”  
  
*-*-*  
  
Freddie took the stairs to his room two at a time, ready to throw his bag on the floor and go see to Cook. As he opened the door, however, he found a face staring back at him from the bed.  
  
“The door was unlocked. You should really be more careful,” Effy said with a shrug and a click of her boot heels, dangling over the foot of his bed.   
  
The bag slid slowly from his fingers to the floor, and Freddie wandered to the bed and sat carefully next to her.  
  
“Hi, Effy.”  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“Where have you been?”  
  
“Oh, around.”  
  
“Why wouldn’t you answer my calls?”  
  
She didn’t reply, just gave him that look. It was as mysterious as the first time he saw her, the look that said she already knew everything about him, so he should really know the answer to his own question by now. It made him feel like an idiot, yet drew him in at the same time.  
  
He felt compelled to ask, “Are…we okay?”  
  
“I don’t know.”  
  
Her eyes bored into him as she swung a leg over his hip. She leaned in slowly as she straddled him, bringing her lips softly to his. As soon as she made contact he found himself kissing back, desperately. As she opened her mouth to his tongue, he could feel her tugging at his belt buckle. His dick was already straining against his jeans, but he was still unsure of why he and Effy were suddenly back on. He hesitated as he broke off the kiss and then leaned back in. Her eyes were on him in a second.  
  
“Is this a game to you?” she asked, eyes wide and impossibly blue.  
  
“No, of course not! I love you.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
The question hit him like a punch to the gut, blunt and hard, draining all the blood out of him.  
  
“Because…you’re beautiful. And perfect, and amazing…”  
  
“That’s mostly lies and exaggerations, Freddie. Tell me something true.”  
  
He forced himself to breathe before he replied, “When you’re gone, I miss you. Like there’s a hole in my heart or something.”  
  
Her eyes softened slightly, but that didn’t prepare him for her next question.  
  
“What about Cook?”  
  
“What about him?” he asked, confused.  
  
“Do you miss him too? Because you’re about to lose your best mate. And it will be my fault.”  
  
He didn’t have an answer. She gracefully dismounted him and lit a cigarette as she walked towards the door.  
  
“Figure out what’s most important to you Freddie. I’ve got to do the same.”  
  
*-*-*  
  
Cook was just lighting his spliff when Freddie came through the shed door. He jumped up out of the worn couch, tensed, ready for a confrontation. Freddie’s eyes were bloodshot though, his shoulders stooped. He flopped into the dirty chair and motioned for the joint. Cook passed it and sat back down.  
  
“I thought you’d be coming to put me out on my arse,” Cook said with a tooth-baring smile.   
  
“I was planning on it,” Freddie coughed out between puffs.  
  
“But?”  
  
“But then I saw Effy.”  
  
Cook bit his lip trying to not say something smart-arsed. Something told him that Freddie was getting to a point, so he silently took the spliff and puffed it to mask his nervous energy.  
  
“She started making out with me and then…asked if I thought we were a game, asked why I really loved her. Then she just left, said I needed to figure out what was most important to me.”  
  
Cook took Freddie’s increasing agitation as a sign to pass the joint back. He sucked on it and coughed, but didn’t say anything else for a while. Cook sprawled himself on the couch and waited.  
  
“I think it may be over.”  
  
The confession came suddenly, and after months of tension, Cook wasn’t sure whether he was happy or just relieved.  
  
“To be honest, Cook, I’m not sure she ever cared about either of us. I just…”  
  
“Don’t talk about it now, mate,” Cook interrupted. “There’s only one thing to do in this situation.”  
  
“What?”  
  
Cook reached under the couch and pulled out a dusty bottle of tequila.  
  
“Get utterly fucking wasted.”  
  
*-*-*  
  
Freddie took a pill from the bag Cook handed him and swallowed it down with a swig from the dregs of the tequila. He was already lashed, but he figured a bit more couldn’t hurt. It felt good to just let go and not care about being stoned and useless for once. Cook was the last person to care and it was the first time Freddie had felt comfortable around him in too long.  
  
Cook was laughing convulsively on the couch, his head hanging off of it towards the floor, his face turning red.  
  
“Remember when JJ started explaining orgasms in biology in primary school, and every time he said ‘penis’ the teacher’s face turned purple until she finally said ‘Jonah , next time you say the word ejaculate I swear I will have you expelled’”  
  
“I remember I almost pissed myself when he started talking with his hands.”   
  
Freddie imitated JJ’s awkward wanking motions, and he and Cook fell into laughing fits. He was warm all over, and feeling fuzzy, but a thought kept itching at the back of his mind.  
  
“Cook?”  
  
“Hmh?” Cook grunted, his head almost on the floor now.  
  
“You aren’t going to try to go after her now, are you?”  
  
Cook flopped off of the couch and crawled over to Freddie’s chair, slinging an arm around his neck.  
  
“Nah, it just doesn’t seem worth it anymore. Don’t fucking tell anyone, but I missed you, you fucking cunt.”  
  
“Right,” Freddie snorted.  
  
“I’m well serious,” Cook insisted, not sounding serious in the slightest. “I missed hanging like this. I fucking love you to bits, mate, I keep trying to tell you.”  
  
Freddie sat up as Cook pulled him into a rough hug. He hugged him back tight, the words ‘best mate’ finally starting to mean something to him again.  
  
It was fine until he felt something hard pressing into his leg.  
  
His head shot up and Cook jumped back at the same time.  
  
“Fuck, man, I’m so stoned. I don’t know up from down I guess…” Cook quickly stuttered.  
  
He coughed and scratched at the back of his head, unable to meet Freddie’s eyes. Freddie got up and backed towards the door.  
  
“Yeah… me too. I think I’m going to go get some sleep.”  
  
He left the shed and wandered into the dark, finding his way to his room mostly by feel. He tripped on his way up the stairs and froze, waiting silently to make sure he hadn’t woken his dad. Once he was safely inside, he crashed on his bed, staring at the blackness above his head where he knew the ceiling was. His head buzzed quietly, but his heart was beating incredibly loud. Despite the noisy thoughts swirling in his head, he soon drifted into sleep.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Cook had long lost his hard-on and Freddie was long gone from the shed before he woke from his stupor and stopped staring at the floor. He wasn’t sure what had been in the pills, but the lingering warmth in his chest had to be from his wicked buzz, not the feeling of Freddie’s arms locked around his neck.  
  
His phone vibrated in his pocket. JJ had texted to ask if Freddie had been pissed at him. He almost laughed at the irony, and deleted the message without bothering to reply. Still staring at the glowing screen, he opened his photos. Slowly falling back into the worn couch cushions, he went through them, deleting the pictures of Effy one by one. As soon as her blue eyes stopped staring out at him he felt the knot in his chest unwind. He took a long, slow breath and held his mobile up to the picture of him, JJ, and Freddie, swords crossed and smiles on their faces. He snapped a photo and set it as wallpaper before passing out, phone cradled to his chest.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Freddie awoke sweating, sheets tangled painfully around his waist. He kicked his way free and went to the bathroom, splashing cool water on his face. He tried not to let thoughts of Cook invade his mind, but it was useless. He tried to rationalise, it wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen Cook’s cock before, everyone in school had. So what was the big deal if he felt it through a few layers of cloth?  
  
He pulled some clothes off of the floor and threw them on. He jogged lightly down the stairs, stumbling at the bottom, still woozy from the night before. He grabbed some bread and cheese for breakfast on the way through the kitchen, thinking about whether to avoid the subject or try to explain that it was no big deal. He chewed on the bread, trying to settle his stomach, as he walked through the garden and opened the shed door.  
  
Cook was stretched the length of the couch, completely naked. He looked up groggily as Freddie stopped short in the doorway and swallowed hard.  
  
“S’hot,” he slurred.  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
Freddie knew he shouldn’t be staring, he shouldn’t want to look, but he couldn’t help it. Cook slowly sat up and took notice.  
  
“It’s not just me then,” he said with a smirk.  
  
Freddie gulped, realising he was getting hard. He backed against the door but couldn’t bring himself to turn the knob and escape.  
  
Cook shouldn’t have been able to close the space between them so fast, but in the blink of an eye he was leaning into Freddie, his breath hot against Freddie’s lips. Freddie squeezed his eyes shut and surged across the last few inches.   
  
As their lips caught at each other, he thought briefly about inevitabilities, how many times over the past year punches had turned to harsh kisses and bitter ‘I love you's between them. When Cook easily undid the buttons of his jeans, he stopped thinking all together.


	4. Chapter 4

** Part IV: Katie **   
  


_We could all make such good friends/yeah we’re all just such elegant disasters/And though your heart never beat like mine/I can come and fill the gaps if you want me to_

  
Effy watched the perfect ring of smoke float away from her lips and dissipate into the chill morning air. She was leaning against the wall, one booted foot flat against the bricks, ditching classes to stare off into space again. She picked at her fingernails a bit as her fag dwindled down to ashes, counting slowly in her head. Right on cue she heard the back door of the college creak open and heels click down the steps. She dug out her lighter and flicked it as the sound of a crinkling pack of cigarettes came from the foot of the stairs.  
  
“Light, Katie?” she asked, pushing away from the wall.  
  
Katie looked her way with a start.  
  
“The fuck Effy?!”  
  
“I was just offering,” Effy shrugged, pocketing the lighter. “I’m sure you’re capable of lighting your own.”   
  
“You know that’s not what I meant. You shouldn’t fucking sneak up on people like that!”  
  
Katie’s eyes shifted down, away from Effy’s gaze and her hand twitched at the hair near her temple.  
  
“Sorry,” Effy murmured.  
  
She dug back into her pocket and produced the lighter and a small case, opened it and got out a joint. She lit it and stepped in closer, holding it out to Katie.  
  
“No thanks,” Katie said, shaking her head slowly, “ I…I’ve got to get back to class.”  
  
“But you haven’t even had your smoke yet.”  
  
“Yeah…” Katie mumbled, backing away, “whatever.”  
  
She spun and hurried back up the stairs. Effy sat on the bottom step and stubbed out the spliff against the cement. The conversation hadn’t gone well, but she hadn’t really expected it to. It was a start though, that was the important thing. She picked at a run in her stockings and waited for college to end.   
  
*-*-*  
  
The bell rang to end class but Katie didn’t get up right away. Cook was staring out the window on the other side of the room, looking thoughtful in a completely un-Cook-like way. When the teacher left with a strange look at them, she wandered over to him and waved a hand in front of his eyes.  
  
“Anybody home?”  
  
“Nope,” Cook chuckled, looking up at her “You know I ain’t got nothing in my head but smoke and pictures of tits.”  
  
“Right,” Katie said sarcastically.  
  
She sat on top of the desk in front of him and kicked at the floor a bit.  
  
“So, did you want to talk about it?”  
  
“What?” Cook started, looking suddenly guarded.  
  
“God, you know, Effy? Brunette, slaggy outfits, sets boys everywhere staring aimlessly out of windows?“  
  
“Oh, right, Effy…” Cook said, visibly letting out a breath.  
  
“What is so special about her anyways that drives you and Freds so crazy?”  
  
Cook’s gaze drifted away again, as if he was trying to form an answer.  
  
“I dunno Katie, she’s…fit and mysterious, I guess. Listen I gotta go, mum’s giving me a ride, and she don’t like waiting…”  
  
He got up, shoved his hands in his pockets and walked quickly out of the room. Katie stared after him, feeling a headache coming on. She fished in her purse for her lip gloss. As she put some on, she wondered if there had been something in the chips at lunch today, because everyone was clearly going fucking mad.   
  
Katie headed to her locker. Emily walked up as she threw her books in, Naomi close behind.  
  
“Hey Katie, Naomi and I were going to study a bit for exams and maybe go out for some drinks. Did you want to come?”  
  
“Ugh, no fucking thanks.”  
  
“What, why not?”  
  
“Because, you two use ‘studying’ as code for ‘making out on a pile of textbooks’, and I really don’t want to see that.”  
  
Katie rolled her eyes as Naomi tried to stifle a laugh. Emily shot a dirty look back at her girlfriend before pushing on.  
  
“Come on Katie, it’s not like that. I’m just worried...”  
  
“Look,” Katie interrupted, “I know you want to process your feelings or whatever you lesbians do, but I’m just not in the mood yet. I’m giving you space to ‘be your own person’, do the same for me.”  
  
She slammed her locker and turned to go. Emily tried to start after her, but Naomi placed a hand on her arm.  
  
Katie’s hands felt jittery as she escaped down the hallway. She decided to fuck the rules, pulled out a fag in the middle of the hall and lit up as she headed for the doors.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Effy was waiting by the door as Katie walked out of college. She smirked to see Katie puffing on a cigarette, blatantly flaunting school rules. As Katie walked, Effy followed slowly behind her, letting her mind wander. She needed to make things right, but for once wasn’t sure what the best approach was. Choosing exactly the right words or silent looks for getting under someone’s skin, flustering them into awkward confessions was one thing. Apologising was something completely different.  
  
They walked through a park, in what she assumed was the direction of Katie’s house, Katie still oblivious to Effy’s presence. Effy found herself considering how different everything, everyone had been the previous year, when Katie had been the one following her everywhere. That Katie would never have been caught dead walking home from school. She remembered the first day of college, Katie and Emily arriving in that moronic footballer’s yellow convertible. Now Katie “Never not had a boyfriend since I was seven” Fitch was single and walking home alone in her perfect leopard print heels.  
  
Effy picked up the pace of her languid steps. In a few moments she was walking next to Katie, quietly breathing in her second-hand smoke. Katie was still staring straight ahead when Effy interrupted her thoughts.  
  
“Could I bum a fag? I’ve only got spliff left.”  
  
“Jesus fucking Christ!” Katie exclaimed, nearly jumping out of her skin.  
  
“Hi, Katie.”  
  
Katie stopped abruptly, and Effy walked a few steps past her before turning around. She was standing, staring daggers at Effy with a hand over her heart.  
  
“All right?” Effy asked carefully.  
  
“No. I think everyone in the fucking college is trying to send me to an early grave. Rocks didn’t quite do the trick so now you’re trying heart attacks?”  
  
“I honestly wasn’t attempting murder this time.”  
  
“Great. So why the fuck are you following me?”  
  
“I…wanted to talk.”  
  
Effy looked Katie right in the eyes, but Katie didn’t hold her gaze. She looked ready to bolt again.  
  
“I haven’t been in much of a talking mood lately.”  
  
“Any way I could change your mind?”  
  
“Get me drunk, maybe,” Katie snorted.  
  
“I think we can make that happen.”  
  
*-*-*  
  
Effy raided her mother’s rather obvious ‘stash’ of alcohol. She and Katie drank silently in the back yard, someplace more neutral than Effy’s stark white room full of cigarette butts and sex. Katie drank without looking Effy’s way, drank straight from the bottle without flinching. She passed the bottle back with an arm flung blindly out from her side. Effy took a long pull, then a second.  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
“What?” Katie started from her reverie.  
  
Effy looked Katie in the eye and repeated herself. Katie’s eyes searched her face, her fingers grasping the ends of her hair.  
  
“There’s no easy way to say it. I’m sorry I hit you. I’m sorry I fucked Freddie under those circumstances. Sorry for being a cunt, essentially.”  
  
“Well, at least you finally acknowledge it,” Katie said, her eyes narrowing. “You really fucked it all up. Fucked Freddie and Cook over good this summer, Freds was a total wreck, and now they’re fighting again. Not to mention…”   
  
She trailed off, rubbed her temple and then stared at her fingers, as if she expected the wound to be fresh again.  
  
“So I’m a walking disaster,” Effy shrugged. “I never tried to deny it. And it’s not like you were completely innocent. I was high out of my mind, but I seem to remember you hitting me first.”  
  
Katie’s angry gaze fell away, and she wiped hard at her eyes. Effy waited. She pulled a cigarette from the pack in her pocket, but found her hands shaking as she tried to hold the lighter to it.  
  
“You’re right,” Katie said at last with a sniff, “I’m far from innocent. I…Effy, the other day Freddie asked me out. He said he wanted to get coffee to apologise for being a prick, but then we were just talking about all the shit that happened last year and he…he tried to kiss me. I didn’t let him, but god, I felt so stupid! I should have told him to fuck off from the moment he called…”  
  
“Katie,” Effy interrupted, placing a hand on Katie’s arm, “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. Freddie’s a big boy, and perfectly capable of making his own mistakes, as we both know.”  
  
Katie let out a harsh laugh, interrupted by a sniffle. Effy’s fingers trailed along her arm and she began to stiffen. Effy dropped her hand and passed the vodka bottle back.  
  
The silence settled back in. Katie took a few more drinks before glancing back over at Effy.  
  
“Are you and Freddie still…?” Katie hesitated, cleared her throat.  
  
“Don’t know,” Effy replied with a wry smirk. “I told myself I would try this time, that he deserved that much for giving a shit.”  
  
“You never try,” Katie said pointedly, with a sour smile.   
  
“Maybe I should. I managed to fuck things up enough when I wasn’t trying.” Effy looked off towards the skyline, where the sun was setting behind a row of houses. “It’s very stressful, people always thinking you’re perfect.”  
  
“You think that’s bad, trying to actually be perfect is worse.”  
  
“I guess instead of trying to be perfect, we could try to just be.”  
  
Katie looked thoughtful for a moment, but then she snorted out a laugh.  
  
“What the fuck does that cliché even mean?”  
  
Effy just looked at her until she started to smile, and they both began laughing as the night set in.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Cook woke with a start in the darkness. There was a long arm encircling his shoulders and the sound of heavy breathing next to him. He stayed utterly still for a moment, until he remembered where he was. With a deep breath he gently disentangled himself from Freddie and got up off of the couch.  
  
Freddie’s chest rose and fell slowly as he slept. Cook bent and pushed the sweaty fringe of hair back from his forehead. He had never been attracted to another boy before, had never really thought about fucking one, but with Freddie everything was different. He was Cook’s best mate, the only one who always gave a shit. Cook meant it every time he had said he loved him and now…it was just more intense, frightening.   
  
He pulled on his clothes and stepped out into the chill night for a fag. As he walked down the garden path he almost ran right into Emily, walking quickly through the darkness.  
  
“Emilio! Where are you off to?”  
  
“I need to speak with Freddie. Is he in there?” Emily said, looking over his shoulder towards the shed.  
  
“Yeah, but he’s asleep.”  
  
“Well, he can just wake up then.”  
  
Emily made to push past Cook, but he held her back, panicking slightly that she would find Freddie naked on the couch.  
  
“Whoa there, Ems, it’s well rude to wake someone from their beauty sleep. What did you need to talk to him about?”  
  
“Katie came home crying the other night,” Emily said with a frustrated sigh, “after she was meant to be going for coffee with Freds. She wouldn’t talk to me about what was wrong, and she’s been in a mood ever since. I’m worried about her, so I came here to get some straight answers.”  
  
“I wouldn’t do that if I was you, Ems,” Cook said cautiously.  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Your sister Katie, she’s a real spitfire. I don’t think she’d take kindly to you poking in her business when she don’t want to talk about it. Just wait, you know, she’ll come round eventually.”  
  
Emily bit her lip and thought for a moment.  
  
“You’re right, I think. God, when the fuck did you start giving out good advice?” she laughed.  
  
“I’m a wise old soul Ems,” he said, sighing and looking heavenward, “but no one takes me seriously for some reason.” He put an arm around her shoulder. “Come on, let’s take a walk.”  
  
They walked out of the yard and down the street, sharing a smoke.  
  
“So how is Naomio?”  
  
“She’s… amazing.” Emily blushed and smiled.  
  
“Ah, look at all that love,” Cook chuckled. “I can see it now, two beautiful girls walking through life together, hand in hand, kissing… feeling on each other’s ti-“  
  
“Cook!” Emily exclaimed, smacking at his arm.  
  
“Hey, a boy can dream,” he said grinning.  
  
“Perv,” she said, trying not to smile.  
  
“Hey, Ems,” Cook asked after a moment, “how did you know you were destined to be Bristol’s fittest little homo?”  
  
  
“What a way with words you have,” Emily snorted. “I dunno, I mean, when I was younger I’d kissed a few boys and it didn’t really mean much to me. Katie had loads of boyfriends, but she only seemed to keep them around so they would do things for her, finish her coursework or take her shopping. I didn’t see the point.”  
  
She smiled softly, “Then in middle school I met Naomi, and she was….brilliant and funny and beautiful. There was just no one else for me.”  
  
“You mean you’ve never even looked at another fit bird?”  
  
“I didn’t say I’d never looked…” she laughed.  
  
“There’s my Emilio! We need to go people-watching, you and me. I can tell you have good taste.”  
  
“Wish I could say the same for you!” She elbowed his side lightly.  
  
“I’m hurt!” he said, holding his chest “You’re a right terror, Emily Fitch, always insulting me and then snatching up one of the fittest girls in school.”  
  
“Oh, you don’t do that bad for yourself!”  
  
“Yeah, but I can never get them to stick around…”  
  
Cook looked down and kicked at the sidewalk. Emily winced slightly and put a hand on his arm.  
  
“Hey, I didn’t mean… Sorry, I know you’re upset about Effy but…”  
  
“Nah, I’m well over it,” Cook interrupted, patting her hand. “You know me, always moving on, can’t be tied down to no one.”  
  
Emily snorted, “I’ll ignore that blatant lie if you share some spiff with me. I know you’ve got some.”  
  
“Done and done!” he grinned, and dug around his pockets for his skins.  
  
*-*-*   
  
Effy sat on the floor, back against the bed and feet propped up on a chair. Katie was lying on her stomach on the bed, flipping through a gossip rag.   
  
“Ugh, what a hideous top. And here I thought Emma Watson had developed better fashion sense than Hermione. Must have spent too much time in that American uni being all swotty.”  
  
Effy hummed an affirmative as she applied a second coat of black nail varnish. They were in her bedroom, passing the evening in what was apparently Katie’s favourite fashion: drinking wine from tea cups, painting their nails and insulting the fashion faux pas of the famous. Well, Katie was insulting and Effy was smirking at the appropriate moments. It was surprisingly relaxing but a bit boring, since this was the third time this week.  
  
“Katie?”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“Did you actually want to go out and do something tonight?”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
“Oh I don’t know, get wasted and go clubbing, find another concert in a cave, get drunk in the park and laugh at the homeless man who’s always trying to catch the ducks in the pond. The possibilities are endless,” Effy finished with a roll of her eyes.  
  
“Be serious, babe. I’m not running around in the dark mocking the homeless. I save those insults for my sister’s girlfriend.”  
  
“Fine, clubs it is then,” Effy said with a smirk.  
  
“I don’t see what’s wrong with drinking some wine and seeing what’s on telly.”  
  
“What’s wrong is that we aren’t fucking forty-two. Come on, we’re going out.”  
  
“But, I’m not dressed for it and my hair…”  
  
Katie’s hand lingered on the carefully placed curls at her temple. Effy bit her lip.  
  
“You look sexy, but you can borrow some of my clothes if you want.”  
  
“Ugh, sorry, but my arse is nowhere near flat enough to be covered by those things you choose to call dresses,” Katie said with a blush.  
  
Effy smiled at that and soon Katie was smiling back.  
  
“Well, you’ll have to make do then, because we’re going out and having some fun.”  
  
*-*-*  
  
Katie hesitated as they walked up to the door of the club, where a large, intimidating black man stood watch. Effy looked back at her as she halted, and then reached to grab her hand and pull her forward. When the bouncer saw Effy he broke into a huge smile.  
  
“Hey, sweetie, haven’t seen you in a while!”  
  
“Oh, I’ve been around,” Effy replied with a genuine grin.  
  
“Got me novel published! It’s selling quite well.”  
  
“Told you, you’re going to be the next J.K. Rowling.”  
  
“Right as always, love,” he said winking at her. “You and your friend have a good time tonight.”  
  
His smile was infectious, and Katie found herself grinning as Effy dragged her past him and inside.  
  
“Shots first?” Effy asked as they fought their way to the bar. “I bet I can drink you under the table.”  
  
“What table?” Katie smirked at the challenge.  
  
After four shots Katie threw her head back, wincing slightly at the taste in the back of her throat.  
  
“Ugh, let’s go dance.”  
  
“Sure,” Effy replied, grabbing them a couple of ciders and heading towards the floor.  
  
The club was packed with bodies. Effy immediately fell into the swaying, pulsing rhythm, but Katie felt a little off as she closed her eyes and moved her hips with the beat. Effy moved in closer to her while she wasn’t looking and put a hand around her waist. Her eyes shot open, but Effy just smiled at her.  
  
“You need to loosen up, Katie.”  
  
She produced a small bag of powder from pockets that shouldn’t have been able to exist in her tiny dress. She offered it to Katie, but Katie bit her lip and shook her head.  
  
“No thanks, not in the mood.”  
  
“Scared? What happened to the Katie Fitch that ate MDMA in her brownies?”  
  
“Things change. I just don’t do that anymore.”  
  
“Just because you’ve changed doesn’t mean you can’t have any fun.”  
  
Katie sighed and rolled her eyes.  
  
“Fine, just a little bit then.”  
  
They each took a small hit from the bag and Effy made it disappear once more. Katie drank some of her cider and tried to just relax while she waited for the high to come on.  
  
The alcohol and drugs all seemed to hit her at once, her blood rushing and warming her all over. Effy was dancing quite close to her now, arms around her neck and breath hot on her ear.  
  
“What about those boys over there?” Effy whispered suddenly, nodding her head to the side and stepping back a bit.  
  
Katie glanced toward where she had indicated. The boys were posh, one blond and one ginger, with striped polo shirts and perfect smirks. They were staring at her and Effy, and she quickly looked away.  
  
“What about them?”  
  
“They seem interested. Did you want to pull?”  
  
“No thanks.”  
  
“What, Katie “never-not-had-a-boyfriend” isn’t up for playing the field?"  
  
“Hmph, not if those pricks are the best this club has to offer. Let’s just keep it a girls’ night, yeah?”  
  
“Girls’ night, huh? All right.”  
  
Effy wrapped herself back around Katie, smiling into her neck. The music seemed louder, a pulse in her body rather than just her ears as they danced. Effy moved languidly, in a way that was instinctively rather than overtly sexy. One of her hands around Katie’s shoulders drifted down to her hip while the other played idly in her hair. Katie was dancing with her eyes closed, just feeling everything too much, but when she opened them it was worse. All she could see was the intense blue of Effy’s eyes. She tried to look away and Effy just smiled and licked her lips. Her hand slid down Katie’s thigh and teased at the hem of her skirt. Katie lost her rhythm, pausing stiffly.  
  
“I… have to go to the loo,” she quickly stammered.  
  
“All right,” Effy replied, barely quirking one eyebrow.  
  
Katie rushed into the bathroom and locked herself in a cubicle. She was hot, her face flushed, and worse, her knickers were soaked. It had to be the drugs, but still, Effy shouldn’t be making her feel this way. She took a deep breath and walked out to the sinks, stopping to splash her face with cold water. It would be okay, she just had to act normal for one evening until the fucking drugs wore off.  
  
Effy was waiting for her at the bar with a drink.  
  
“Warm in here, isn’t it?” she said, passing Katie an alcopop.  
  
“Yeah, it’s too crowded.”  
  
“We could go if you like.”  
  
“Sure, in a bit.”  
  
Katie looked down as she took a drink, and then stared out blankly across the sea of unfamiliar faces moving as one.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Effy lit a cigarette as they walked through the park, the moonlight reflecting off of the pond interrupted by the dark floating shapes of ducks and swans. Katie shivered next to her.  
  
“You should have brought a coat,” she quipped as she exhaled a stream of smoke.  
  
“Says the girl wearing as little fabric as possible without being arrested,” Katie shot back, laughing as she shivered again.  
  
Effy stepped closer and put an arm around Katie.  
  
“You don’t have to do that.”  
  
“What are friends for?” Effy said, flicking her cigarette butt into the damp grass.  
  
“So we’re really friends now, yeah? Ironic.” Katie said with a smile and a roll of her eyes.  
  
“Stranger things have happened.”  
  
Effy rubbed her hand up and down Katie’s arm. Katie looked up at her, her eyes glistening in the dim light. Effy acted on her instincts, her blood still warm from the alcohol, the drugs, the press of bodies in the club. She leaned over and brushed her mouth against Katie’s pouty lips. It was only a feather-light kiss, but Katie stood frozen, her eyes tightly closed. Her lower lip jutted out so perfectly, Effy couldn’t help but kiss her again. Katie’s mouth began to move against hers, but then the motion became a shake of her head and Katie pulled back.  
  
“Why did you do that?” Katie asked, holding a hand up to her lips.  
  
“I don’t know, it just… felt right,” Effy murmured, slowly drifting closer to Katie again.  
  
“I ca-- I’ve got to go,” Katie stammered, turning and hurrying down the path.  
  
Effy watched her fade into the darkness, almost called out to her. In the end, she simply bit her lip and flopped clumsily into the grass near a park bench, still tipsy and warm. She stared up at the stars and tried to feel it, the sensation that she was just a tiny point on a spinning ball hurtling through the universe, and that if she cocked everything up again it wouldn’t even matter. She squeezed her eyes shut and could feel the spin of the earth beneath her, but even stronger she felt the impression of Katie’s lips on hers. She was too drunk to want to contemplate how Katie had gone from annoying bitch to rival to friend to…something. She only knew she was royally fucked.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Katie stumbled through the darkness, hugging her arms tightly around herself and shivering from the cold. Slowly she brought her fingertips back to her lips, the only part of her body that still seemed to be warm. Her thoughts reeled as she walked. ‘Friends’, Effy had called them. That was all Katie had ever wanted from the beginning of this whole mess, so why when they were finally getting there did Effy have to go and fuck it up? She wasn’t gay like Emily and that filthy hippie Naomi, and she certainly wasn’t turned on by Effy Stonem. (It didn’t  _count_  when she was high.) She just wanted to feel happy and normal again and…  
  
Her heel caught in a crack in the pavement and sent her tumbling towards the ground. She caught herself, scraping her palms, and sat down with a sob. Who the fuck was she kidding, she thought. She didn’t even know what normal looked like anymore. She picked herself up slowly and continued limping her way home. She wished she didn’t miss Effy’s warm arm around her, but she wasn’t sure how to put things back to the way they were before.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Effy woke in her bed, still wearing her clothes from the night before. The walk home was a bit of a blur, but she was out of cigarettes again and one thought remained firm in her mind: she needed to go talk to Freddie.  
  
She smoked herself awake as she walked to his house, shrugging her leather jacket closer around herself. She took a deep breath when she stood in front of his door, but when she went to knock she noticed it was open. Freddie was in his room, smoking a joint out of his window and lost in thought. Effy knocked on the frame of the open door and he turned around with a start.  
  
“Effy!”  
  
“Have you done your thinking, Freddie?”  
  
“I…I guess so.”  
  
“Good, so have I. I don’t think this is going to work.”  
  
Freddie bit his lip but didn’t say anything. Effy joined him at the window and took a hit from the joint. She looked up at him as she exhaled.   
  
“I hope I’m not breaking your heart but…I did give you fair warning,” she said with a fraction of a smile, leaning over and bumping him with her shoulder.  
  
Freddie slung an arm around her and took back the spliff.  
  
“Nah,” he said at last, almost smiling back, “I think I’m going to be okay. I guess it’s weird to say but… I already knew. I’ll be fine.”  
  
He repeated ‘I’ll be fine’ to himself. Effy raised an eyebrow, but he looked back out the window without noticing her questioning gaze. As he stared down into the garden, a genuine smile slowly crept over his face. Seeing that, a knot in Effy’s chest unwound. She hopped up onto the windowsill and took the joint from his lips.  
  
“Good,” she said, “that’s all I really needed to hear.”  
  
They smoked in silence for a few minutes. When the joint was gone, Effy leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek before she left.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Cook trotted into the garden after making sure Mr. McClair wasn’t home. He made his way back to the shed, loaded down with a grocery bag of biscuits and vodka for lunch. Freddie wasn’t waiting inside, so he poked his head out and looked up towards his bedroom.  
  
He couldn’t see Freddie, but someone with long brown hair was perched in the window. Effy turned and exhaled a thin plume of smoke. She moved away from the windowsill and then he could see Freds, just as she reached up to kiss him.  
  
Cook dropped the bag to the ground, the bottles making a satisfying crunch as they broke against the flagstones. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his trousers and walked back up the garden path.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Freddie lay on his bed with his hands at the back of his neck. The sun was setting, and the flash of light through his window finally caused him to stir. The talk with Effy had made everything seem so…final. It made his chest feel lighter just to think of it. He got up and jogged down the stairs. A smile curved at the corners of his mouth as he made his way quickly to the shed.  
  
Cook wasn’t inside. Freddie pulled his mobile from his pocket and dialed Cook’s number, but after a moment he heard a ringing coming from the couch. Cook’s phone was lodged between the cushions, and he was gone without a trace. Freddie ended the call to Cook’s phone and dialed the first number he could remember.  
  
*-*-*   
  
Katie wasn’t sure what had brought her to this shitty pub. She had just wandered most of the day, but now she wanted to sit and preferably drink. It wouldn’t bring clarity to her thoughts, but it might shut them up for a bit.  
  
When she sat down at the bar she heard a yell from across the room.  
  
“Katieeee!”  
  
She should have known. Cook bounded over to her, his breath reeking of tequila as he threw an arm around her.   
  
“What are you doin’ here, babe?”  
  
“I was planning on drinking in peace.”  
  
“Well that’s no good. Christina, more tequila!”  
  
The barmaid rolled her eyes, but brought him drinks anyway. Katie pounded back the shot and watched as Cook managed to get more on his shirt than in his mouth.  
  
“Jesus, Cook. How long have you been at this?”  
  
“Oh, maybe since two. Whenever it was that I saw Freddie back with Effy.”  
  
“What??” Katie exclaimed.  
  
“She was up in his room, kissing him. I came here.”  
  
Katie opened her mouth, then shut it. Christina brought them two more shots, and she took both of them.  
  
“So how about it, Katiekins? If Freds and Effy are leaving us all alone, how about we be alone together?”  
  
Cook waggled his eyebrows at her, but Katie had no response. A headache was swiftly forming behind her eyes. She put her head in her hands and Cook leaned over her.   
  
“Don’t be like that Kate…” he began.  
  
She shoved him back as she felt her mobile ring. Effy’s name appeared on the small screen. Katie flipped the phone open and pressed hard on the receive button.  
  
“What. The. Fuck, Effy.”  
  
“Katie!” Effy’s voice buzzed on the other end of the line, “Have you seen Cook? He’s gone missing and Freddie was looking…”  
  
“Oh, I’ve seen Cook all right. And he told me everything.”  
  
“What? Where are you?”  
  
“At the pub. What the-“  
  
“Good, just keep him there,” Effy said, and hung up.  
  
Katie stared at the phone as it went dark. Next to her, Cook stumbled off of his barstool and doubled over, heaving up the contents of his stomach.  
  
*-*-*  
  
Freddie hurried into the pub, Effy close behind him. Katie sat at the bar, staring at the counter and looking ill. Cook was on the floor, looking even worse. Katie looked up as he approached, her eyes burning right past him. He winced at the intensity of her gaze, but focused his attention on Cook.  
  
“Cook, are you all right, mate?”  
  
“He’s been drinking all day,” Katie replied, still not looking at him, “ever since he saw you with Effy.”  
  
Effy stepped forward as Freddie carefully picked Cook up off of the floor.  
  
“Katie, it isn’t what you think.”  
  
“Right, of course,” Katie said bitterly, turning quickly towards the door.  
  
“Cook, listen!” Freddie exclaimed, forcing Cook to look him in the eyes. “Effy only came round to break up with me. It’s over, really, that was all.”  
  
Katie paused and turned around. Cook stared at Freddie as he wiped his mouth, his face vacillating between shocked, ill, and pissed.  
  
“Well, finally, ain’t that just grand. What if I don’t want to be the consolation prize, Freds?” Cook said, his eyes narrow.  
  
“What?” Katie said.  
  
Cook looked at her and Effy, as if just remembering they were there. He stood up straight and looked smugly at them.  
  
“If you must know, Freddie here is totally gay for me.”  
  
Freddie winced, quickly glancing between the girls. Effy’s face registered no signs of shock, while Katie’s eyes were wide with it. She shot a look at Effy and her non-reaction before turning back to Cook.  
  
“Well, that’s just lovely. Is anyone here not gay?”  
  
Effy tried to speak to Katie, but she turned on a heel and ran out, muttering ‘fuck this.’ Effy crossed her arms and shuddered as the door slammed behind Katie, but she turned back to Freddie and Cook after a moment. All the fights over her flashed before his eyes as she looked between him and Cook.  
  
“Well, it’s about fucking time,” Effy remarked.  
  
“Wait, what?” Freddie said.  
  
“Well this has all been a bit obvious, hasn’t it? Freddie, you do know you say his name in your sleep, right?”  
  
Cook grinned. “You little minx…”  
  
“Go on,” Effy said with a roll of her eyes, “kiss and make up boys.”  
  
“Fine,” Freddie said, finally allowing himself a smile, “but it seems you had better do the same.”  
  
He looked toward the door and patted her on the shoulder. A smile lit her face for the both of them as she turned to go.  
  
*-*-*  
  
“Katie, wait!”  
  
Katie glanced over her shoulder and saw Effy running after her. She felt cornered but she stopped, and leaned against the brick wall, hugging her arms across her chest. No matter where she ran, it was never far or fast enough to escape Effy Stonem.  
  
“Don’t just leave like that!” Effy said, her voice more forceful and serious than Katie had ever heard her.  
  
“I can’t do this, Effy. I’m not gay, I’m not anything! I just can’t…”  
  
As she trailed off Effy crossed the remaining space between them and leaned over her, one hand pressing flat against the brick.  
  
“Do you think this is easy for me? Well, let me tell you a little secret. You keep talking about how much we’ve all changed, do you think I want to stay like I am? A user, hurting people, shutting everyone out because I’m so fucking scared? “   
  
Katie couldn’t answer. Her knees were shaking as she stared into those blue eyes, saw Effy’s lip quiver, like she was watching Effy crack and shatter right in front of her.  
  
“Well things could be different with us. You don’t put up with my bullshit Katie and I need…”  
  
Katie couldn’t stand it anymore. She tilted her head and just acted, moved across the infinitely small space between them and kissed Effy. Kissing wasn’t supposed to feel like breaking something and fixing it all at once, but Effy laced fingers through her hair and held her as she fell apart and came back together again. 


End file.
